I Wished...
3:54 PM
Tuesday, April 03, 2007
i feel bullied.
extremely bullied.
by alot of diff people
i cant explain that feeling..
and maybe it does not constitute bullying..
but thats wat i feel.
my bobo and chacha nv bullied me
i miss them
i dunnoe when i became sucha wuss.
i prefer myself b4.
pple are mean.
they take advantage of u.
i trust too easily and give too many benefits of the doubt
and the funny thing is i always thought myself as the opposite
but right now.. being bullied proves otherwise.
i changed myself cuz of u u and u.
u said i shld be less prissy
u said i shld be nicer
u said i shld be less trusting
u said i shld put in more effort with my frens.
u said i need to be more tactful and less blunt.
u said i shld spend more time at home
u said i shld study harder
u said i shld not be so laidback
well.. guess wat.. BACK AT ALL OF U.
i cant even sae im done being wat everyone wans me to be and start being myself
cuz i forgot wat myself was.
im just gonna curl up in my room and hibernate.
maybe meditating will help self actualization
for now.. studying for my 3 test and the upcoming exams shld make a good enuff excuse to hermitify myself.
social isolation is as much an excuse as it is a very welcomed escape.
i dunwan to be me right now.
but i dunnoe wat i wanna be.
u noe.. i need to grow up.
and be less wussy.
i whine alot. ALOT
and this is toned down whining.
im never happy w my choices that is one thing ure right about.
there is never a good choice when it comes to my decisions.
its always half empty to me.
why like that.
and right now..
with wats happening.
its more like totally empty.
im at the end.
and theres no one there.
-- --
1:23 PM
seriously..
u are UNBELIEVABLE
u make me wanna tear wats left of my hair out...
scream till my lungs explode
and my veins pop out
argh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
how dare u.
do u haf like a block of wood for ur brain
ure social skills are inadeqaute to sae the least
and dun get me started on ur ability to understand the english language
HOW DARE U!!
im telling u about sumthing i feel..
therefore i get to sae why cant u just get it?!
but u dun get to sae it back!!
cuz im the one trying to get my point across not u!!
argh
simple rules of social communication!
how would u react if i trivialise, negate and falsify (without proof!) everything u sae.
its not a blurdy debate!!
its a conversation
u noe.. the social exchange with words that humans participate in?
wat is ur problem?! seriously!
i trust u therefore i converse w u.
and im sorry but that conversation was about me..
therefore im not the on who shld get it..
i came up with the "IT"!!!
and for that matter.
if u felt so strongly about that matter and u could come up w a million examples to back ur point up
but sum IMBECILE decide that his opinions mattered more but w lame ass examples
started throwing eveything back at u
and thats not ure intention when u started the conversation, u just wanted to talk about it, get it off ur chest.
wat will u do to that imbecile?!
never talk to that idiot ever again.
FYI: YOU disrespected ME!
i hate human beings.
i rather rant to to my cat.
--argh--
7:46 PM
Monday, April 02, 2007
i dun haf a life..
why is there so mch mugging this sem..
paper after dreadful paper..
tests after tests..
i havent clubbed in 3 weeks. or more..
im either in hall
or at sch.
meaning im in NUS the whole week
how sad is that
okie given some entertainment in hall stuff
goin out fer suppers
mahjong and ktv.
am i becoming an auntie or wat..
well char char can atest to my lack of a life.
she's prolly my onli form of human contact
haha.. thank u char.
there's so many things i wanna do!!
but no time and too tired.
maybe its just an excuse
i dunnoe.
but im realli realli sleepy now.. haha
for the first time in my life im actually studying..
its actually a piority and i see it as part of my role of being a student.
at least im proud of that.
yay!
-- headache and craving fer ice --