I Wished...
5:39 PM
Monday, July 31, 2006
im an emotional wreck..
and its ure fault
the onli thing that surpasses how much i care abt u and how much u mean to me
is my hatred fer u.
how dare u.
its been long enuff.
wat have u done.
how do u live guilt free.
u deserve to suffer.
strong words ya.. but i dun think ive ever mean them more than i do now.
im not even agitated.
im calm and ive tot thru alot.
and those are wat i truely feel
as much i tried so hard not to feel them
afta wat u did
its inevitable
and i wan u to live w it.
afta last night i told myself that i need to stop getting affected by it
stop being so emotional
stop sitting there feeling sorry fer myself
stop crying
stop thinking that im the victim
juz snap out of my pathetic state.
and get on w life.. detached.
but by this morning u had to do wat u do best again
i dun stand a chance.
i hate all the this..
im exhausted.
but wat can do.
with u.. i always lose.
stop it.. juz stop. pls.
-- ... --
10:48 PM
Tuesday, July 25, 2006
its not abt having a happy life..
its abt being contented.
and im not contented.
im not the luckiest person on earth..
but neither am i the unluckiest.
but i guess ive got alot to be thankful for.
so why cant i juz be happy
be happy for being me.
im trying.
i dun like me.
and i dun like being me.
if i were another person, i'd hate me.
oh well..
enuff thinking for todae.
headache.
pinkies mini outing
was good
zouking with weilan char sheena peiling mich and yun.
was good.
cross group faci coffee session thingy
was good too
swaps farewell gathering at cris's place
was good.
amazing how bonded swaps is.
the pple.
each and everyone of them
unique and distinct in their own way
it was a good feeling seeing all of them there.
swaps is very much alive the way i see it.
very proud and thankful that im a part of it.
drums yesterday..
supa dupa fun.
i wan to learn more!!
and finally..! happy birthday amelia!!
ure 21 now.
pls stop being so gross. haha
i enjoy having a pig like u as a fren.
cheers to many many more gross years of frenship!
-- waiting for sumthing to happen.. juz waiting --
12:08 AM
Wednesday, July 19, 2006
think.. happy tots..
mj-ing sa ka w oliver and char till 4am..
but i lost ten freaking bucks.
laffing thill my stomach hurts..
mostly AT the oily, PUMPERS(pampers) mocha clown.
slacking at home w my mum and bobo chacha fer 2 good long daes
driving is so god damn fun..
drums are so god damn fun..
bridging and mj-ing w ginny peiyoon, charchar and jiahui.
i dun feel so dumb when im w them.
won at mj-ing!! finally!
hk soon..! woohoo..
double cheeseburger and twister fries
clubbing tom w wackys and sheena..
charmaine being totally gross.
still lots of stupid things and stupid pple.
i cant even differentiate them.
they juz come all at one go.
ARGGHHH.
this comes 20 mins afta the last post.
therefore im still affected.
ARGHHH..!!
-- jumps off building --
11:44 PM
Tuesday, July 18, 2006
ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHH...!!
stupid things stupid pple.
as sheryl will sae.. this is my air headed way of venting.
i refuse to be affected.
i refuse to analyse and think abt it.
if i dun think i dun get affect and i become happy.
therefore.. empty my head.
juz stupid things and pple.
lump it all up and erase!
fer now at least.. headache..
thank god fer charmaine.
at least i noe u'll always be there fer me.
although not always on my side.. cuz we fight like shit and u make me so pissed i cry tears of anger
and then i wanna bang ur head into the wall and rip u into pieces.
but still.. ure a godsend
comforting me and hear me whining till kingdom comes.
and when i sae everyone hates me
she'll go "wat am i? chopped liver?! i dun hate u.. yet, so not everyone hates u"
but i noe im right.. haha
as i am always!
11:18 PM
Thursday, July 13, 2006
im so tired and sleepy..
been wanting to blog abt so many tings..
which i havent gotten my lazy ass arnd to.
camp of cuz.. ended like a gizzilion years ago.. ok last thurs
alot of stupid things and stupid pple ..
chacha's condition now.. which is good.. i think
tues mj-ing at mocha's hse
weds meet up w the vball gals
todae shopping w my mum.
im tired.. all that plus driving everydae..
2 tom sumore.
alot of things i wan to be doin but too tired to.
work.. sumwhere.. anewhere
organise a pinkies outing.
meet up w sum peeps.. alot actually.
tour..
and oh yah.. blog.. proper.
im tired.
so.. random tots first.
oliver shares his wardrobe w his mum.
his mum is the nicest mum arnd
his dad tot char was my chid and shaun my husband.
im old..
vball gals.. pple change
but the chemistry stays.
gossips gossips or rather.. GODDIPS.
im sorrie huili i missed ur bd.. i realli wld haf wanted to be there!
sum pple are realli IDIOTS.
lousy loser moron idiots x 3
and that is wat u ARE!
HA HA!!
ive been affected by things and pple who/which i shldnt haf been bothered with.. fer far too long
and im getting over it!
indifference.. the air headed easy way out
re-cycling w sheryl and jo soon!
hk w peiyoon and ginny!
both of which btw went to the saloon i told them was good!!
chattered on the 2nd level of fareast fer 45mins
blocking the whole world's way.
giggling bimbos.
and im not toking abt me
once again..
idiots some pple..
ok blog proper soon..
-- phuture tom --
12:54 AM
Monday, July 10, 2006
im supa sleepy and tired..
i wan to blog abt the psych camp.
alot of things to sae
but not now..
when im less tired worried and upset
had a helluva rough dae.
mum's birthdae.. but ended up rushing chacha to the vet
she's very sick..
in shock and alot of pain
apparently some foreign object stuck in her stomach.
i dunnoe..
realli worried..
and she prolly got feline flu.
i'll totally die if she doesnt get better.
ive already fallen in love w her..
pls dun take her away.
when i needed support most.
frm a fren.
i din even noe wat's goin on.
juz suddenly got shouted at with accusations.
names calling and the works.
like huh?!
i din even make the decision
thanx alot ya
but watever.. im damn troubled over chacha already
i dun need to be crying my eyes out over another matter
i realli din do anething.
think wat u wan..
but it was damn hurtful u said all those things
and i realli dun need it.
cant belive my dae cld haf gotten worser..
wats ur problem man seriously..
-- cha cha --
11:29 PM
Sunday, July 02, 2006
camp tom..
i dunnoe if excited or happy is exactly the word to describe what im feeling..
more like anticipatory.. anxious..
but all in all.. i am looking fer to it.
intend to juz enjoy the camp fer all its worth.
with my group..
cuz i love my grp
and w frens.. char, yun, yvonne..
swappies..
mahjong supper and clubbing at night.
leave all the stupid politics behind.
NARCISSISTIC..!! the pinkies!!
-- cant take my eyes off u --
right now.. seems like nobody can be trusted.
so heck.
i hate thinking.