I Wished...
3:09 PM
Wednesday, January 25, 2006
egoistic, pompous, self-righteous, arrogant BITCH...
i hope u trip over ur humongous ego and fall flat on ur oh-im-so-absolutely-fabulous bitch face.
to think that such pple actually do exist outside of corny mediacorp dramas..
u personify the epitome of the antagonistic bitch..
u make good and bad so painfully obvious there isnt a need fer the grey area when ure around.
how do u live being the person u are?!
well, unfortunately fer u.. there's a thing called KARMA.
it wun be long now.
-- and no char.. im not toking abt myself, although sometimes i do see the resemblance --
2:07 AM
Saturday, January 21, 2006
no matter wat i do..
how hard i try..
im never ever good enuff for anebody..
even myself.
im done trying.
screw u all.
i guess that includes me too.
-- ... ... ... --
1:56 PM
Sunday, January 15, 2006
havent stepped out of the NUS compound in a week..
well ok.. except for the occasional supper?..
muscles pulls.. scrapes.. new bruises everyday..
seems enuff to keep me busy fer awhile.
despite all the stress of sch and ihg..
im thankful fer it.
at least it keeps my mind off stuff.. fer awhile.
i'll take watever i can get.
i juz love sports..
luv playing them..
but at the end of the dae.. they're juz games..
so chill..
there's more to life then winning every game.
i think..
everything in my life's still a mess..
confusion..
i dunnoe anething...
dun ask me why..
wat now.
-- i hate it that its up to me --
3:02 AM
Wednesday, January 04, 2006
i guess its time i run,far far away,find comfort in pain.if and onli if that were possible..
i'm sure i'd be so god damn comfortable.
-- "get ur life back on track" now that's an idea --
8:50 PM
Sunday, January 01, 2006
hi there 2006!
good riddance 2005...
uve been good 1st half of the year..
2nd half?... let's juz sae .. never again pls!
well.. come the new year..
i shall atttempt to get rid of the same shit different day mentality.
and oh yah.. n stick by my new year resolutions.. fer once.
but i think i actually will this time
ive got NUTHIN to lose anewaes.. except about 10 kg?
still...
i noe some things will nv change..
like eternal bad luck.
and unfortunately.. certain pple dun change either.
i dunnoe whu u are right now..
and recently... ive come to realise that i may never have known whu u were in the first place.
because of u.. i will never trust ever again.
esp u.. DUH
right now.. everything in my life is put on hold.
of cuz school will cont as usual..
i will still sae hi and smile at pple i noe..
it will seem like nuthing haf changed to everyone else..
and nuthing shld.
but right now.. fer me.. everything's changed.
juz that i dunnoe to wat.
im in limbo..
the onli way to go fer now..
is juz to live by my resolutions.
since i lost my identity.. crushed everything i believed in, i dun realli haf a choice.
gotta start sumwhere.
resolutions:
1. get my freaking driver's licence already.. almost 6 mths since i passed my basic and advance.
wat's the point of passing both test on the first try when u procrastinate fer 6 mths.
2. wat's new? lose like 10 kg? okie..at least start by being healthy. i like playing sports.. juz no jogging pls. and of cuz its not JUZ abt being healthy.. oh pls.. of cuz its to sqeeze into that god damn tiny pair of delicious fcuk jeans. haha.
3. volunteer for a cause im passionate abt and commit to it at least part time permenantly. this gotta be the most impt of the 3.. sumhow.. i juz feel that helping someone is eventually gonna help me. i noe it doesnt go.. but i did want to be a social worker till sw1101e bored the freaking daylights outta me. and then.. the rest was jus selfish history. and i lost sight of this. fergot how those pple helped me more then i helped them. i dunnoe where to start. so if aneone do.. help.
alright step one done.. this is considered makin a precommitment. right?
and i dun do commitment stuff.. so this is good.. right?
okie.. here goes nuthing.
-- 2006--