I Wished...
11:26 PM
Saturday, November 19, 2005
personality disorders and impluse control
anxiety disorder
mood disorder/suicide
schizophrenic disorder
sexual and gender identity disorder
there u have it.. yay!
im not gonna diagnose myself charmaine..
not like u did..
that's too much gross info for the public eyes..
its there.. in those categories..
if u noe me.. u'll get it.. alil
i dunwan to update!!!!!!!!
too many things bugging me..too little time to blog..
EXAMS U SHLD BURN IN HELL..!!
-- like i said.. too many tings.. too lil time--
11:26 PM
personality disorders and impluse control
anxiety disorder
mood disorder/suicide
schizophrenic disorder
sexual and gender identity disorder
there u have it.. yay!
im not gonna diagnose myself charmaine..
not like u did..
that's too much gross info for the public eyes..
its there.. in those categories..
if u noe me.. u'll get it.. alil
i dunwan to update!!!!!!!!
too many things bugging me..too little time to blog..
EXAMS U SHLD BURN IN HELL..!!
-- like i said.. too many tings.. too lil time--
8:24 PM
Saturday, November 12, 2005
nobody would have stay afta wat u did.
onli an idiot like me.
not this time..
not again.
i dun deserve this from u.
im not gonna be there anemore.
u can go screw urself bitch.
-- its not equal.. u dun deserve equality afta wat u did--
2:38 PM
Thursday, November 10, 2005
i dun think i like what i see...
im not happy with the situation.
i dun think i wan things to be like that.
BUT... im not even sure if what i think is what realli is.
and that's where the dissonance comes in.
what's worse is that it could have been different.
and i could have done.. or actually not done sumthings to make it different.
its realli not my fault.. although it was within my control..
actually u noe wat.. it wasnt.
i already did wat was within my control.
im not the bitch.. not this time.
and it feels pretty darn bad to get blamed fer sumthing i DIDNT do.
yes.. ure right.
it could be worse..
i could actually have CARED abt the person.
and how the person saw me..
its a good thing that i dun..
but it still sucks..
with the exams coming i realli shldt be bothered by such frivolous things..
but this beats dwelling on other not so frivolous stuff that will give me a headache of the millenium.
i guess i rather be perturbed then be in a sobbing fit.
BE HAPPY KIM..!!
-- am i supposed to be thankful?!.. cuz i sure as hell am NOT.--
11:48 AM
Wednesday, November 09, 2005
i resorted to drinking coffee yesterdae..
i NEVER drink coffee.. like NEVER.
its not that i dun like coffee..
but caffeine juz make me do silly things..
and it was proven when once again it showed its ugly self yesterdae ..
afta onli half a cup i was jittery.. typing at an insanely fast speed.. but only to churn out incoherent stuff.
btw.. if aneone asks.. i DID NOT spill water from the ice tray THRICE.
and no.. the kitchenette is not a swimming pool because of me.
anyhow.. it worked. Im onli left w my 2000+ words lit review now..
5hrs to handing up my report 2 daes late and already 10% deducted.
oh well.. thank u caffeine.. i think.
right now.. i'll take watever i can get.
im burnt out.. and i havent even started studying fer exams yet..
this sem is crazy.. CRAZY.
-- i think... u out-smarted me. and there i was, thinking i had the upperhand. how dumb--
11:09 PM
Sunday, November 06, 2005
seriously..
u dunnoe me.
u dunnoe me either.
none of u get it.
how can u when i dun even get it myself.
but its getting better now.
im starting to understand more.
working it out in my mind.
its less complicated.
and im starting to see it.
im not wat i look like i am..
well.. maybe juz a lil.
ive stop hoping to be happy.
but i still want to haf some fun once in awhile.
juz plain ol harmless fun.
im weird.. i think? but then again, whu's normal.
but there's definately alot of my thinking that most pple dun get..
or.. they juz think otherwise.. and assume that's how i would think too.
dun get it?.. wat's new.
most of u dun agree w me..
i think u do. or at least u try to.
and that's good..
i like that abt u..
but i dun expect it.. neither do i expect u to continue agreeing w it no matter wat.
this sem haf been realli amazing..
like realli realli amazing.
ive been the lowest ive ever been..
and right now im still recovering from that.
but SO MANY things haf happened.
some im okie w... some im not.
some im used to.. some i have problem believing up til now.
some affect me, ALOT.. some SHOULD affect, but im not.
wow.. did i juz rhymed?
ive matured and grown so much..
but onli to find out that i havent changed at all actually.
its weird.. i noe.
im just still realli confused abt the big pic.
but individually.. i noe wat i feel abt all of u.
juz that i cant reconcile them.
some i dunnoe how i feel.. but i honestly do not care.
not yet at least.
anyhow.. my pet phrase now has gotta be "i dunnoe".
-- am i ever gonna be alright? --
11:33 PM
Saturday, November 05, 2005
"so u aint gonna let aneone love u ever?"
good question.
i dunnoe.. im juz not worth it.
dun be an idiot.
-- i shld be lucky--
8:23 PM
eventful week..
eventful.. hmm, fer lack of a better word.. yea.
u: things arent great.. but they cld be worse. its stupid, but sumhow i think i shld thank u fer that. why do i care so much abt u..
u: im not a child.. and ure not a monster. its juz how things are.. no expectations rem? when i sae its personal.. ITS PERSONAL. that's all.
u: uve been there.. always on my side and i appreciate it. THANK YOU.
u: why cant u juz understand?!.. its not that i dunwan to spend time w u. but u dun make it any easier with ur shitty attitude.
u: seriously.. watever. but i still think u owe me an apology.
u and u: its gonna be weird.
u: updates pls..
-- judge me why dun u?!--
2:29 PM
Friday, November 04, 2005
IM BOGGED..
i dun need this..
and im not gonna take it..
not anemore..
things got real bad b4.. and things arent getting any better.
everytime i see a glimmer of hope
cuz of sumone.. or sumthing
it never lasts.. its like..
dangling a sweet in front of a child giving her the hope..
but then rudely snatch it away everytime the child reaches out to take it.
im whining.. again.
and i DUN CARE.
i deserve to whine.. and feel sorry fer myself
there's no ups and downs in my live..
juz a constant negative str8 line.dotted with dips.
life bites..
and i cant bite back.
-- some pple bother me.. some irritate me.. some disgusts me.. some affect me.. some leave me flabbergasted.. some hurt me.. some make me cry.. some make me angry.. and then there are THOSE that do them all.--